Updates from Rome

(About the image: this is a photo of my school, shamelessly “borrowed” from their website.)

Well, I did make it to Rome safely! I’ve been here exactly one month today—a month which has been amazing, but also totally and utterly overwhelming.

For one thing, this was my first time leaving North America ever (and practically my first time being outside of the United States; I was in Canada for thirty minutes about ten years ago). And in travelling here, I left the United States so quickly that sometimes I feel like I’m still trying to wrap my head around everything.

I knew at the end of June that I would be sent to study Canon Law, but I didn’t know for sure until the very end of July that I would be going to Rome (that is, if the logistics would not have worked out, I would have been sent to Washington, D.C.). Also, I wasn’t quite sure how long it would take for me to get a visa, so I didn’t even book my flight until about three days before I left.  It was not until my plane was over the north Atlantic that I let myself believe that Rome was really going to happen.

Providentially, I landed here in Rome early on the morning of September 14—the feast of the Triumph of the Cross. The first thing I did once I arrived at the place where I am living was attend a morning Mass for the feast. And after the Mass, I was even able to venerate a relic of the true cross! (Appropriately enough for someone attending Pontifica Università della Santa Croce.)

In this past month, I’ve seen things I never thought I would see in person: St. Peter’s, the Sistine Chapel, and the catacombs of St. Callixtus (an image of which I have had on my sidebar since this blog first started) where St. Cecilia was first buried.

One of my favorite things about my life in Rome right now is that I can walk through the Piazza Navona on my way to and from school—not because I particularly care for all the tourist attractions there, but because it was the place where St. Agnes was martyred. One of the most beautiful antiphons from the Rite of Consecration to a Life of Virginity, which the newly-consecrated sings right after she receives her ring—“I am espoused to Him whom angels serve; sun and moon stand in wonder at His glory”—is attributed to St. Agnes. It amazing for me to be able to stand in the place where these words were spoken for the first time!

On a similar note, you always hear about how the Church is universal…but to actually see it for yourself really is as marvelous as everyone says. I keep getting a feeling that I can’t quite put into words—something like: I never knew! I never really understood before just how vast and deep our Church, the Church of which I am a member, truly is. All this history, all these people—all the Apostles, martyrs, Popes, saints, and billions and billions of Christian souls. And yet, even someone as little as me is not unknown or insignificant.

Still, my coming to Rome is most certainly NOT the Archdiocese sending me on a three-year vacation. (Or even a three-year retreat!) Getting used to a foreign culture is challenging. I am finding that I need to re-learn how to do almost everything: how to use the washing machine, how to cross the street, how to buy things in stores, converting everything into metric (I’m still not used to hearing people say things like: “it’s going to get up to 33˚ tomorrow, so you’re lucky you have air conditioning”), etc. Even trying to plug things into walls is an adventure!

And of course, the reason I’m here is to study Canon Law (a subject I’ve never formally studied before), with all my classes entirely in Italian (a language which I had also never studied). After just having completed my first week of classes, I can say that yes, this really is about as daunting as it sounds…yet at the same time, I don’t think I’ve ever been this excited and happy to be going to school. Knowing that I was send her with the express purpose of serving the Church in New York spurs me on to keep trying my best even in the times when the task ahead of me seems almost beyond my capacities.

Still, I think out of necessity, my personal motto this year is going to have to be: “With God, all things are possible.” (cf. Matthew 19:26) So I could still use prayers!

Where I Will Be Studying

While I was searching for something else online, I found this video about the Pontificia Università della Santa Croce, where I will be studying for the next three years:

And yes, I am totally excited for this amazing opportunity! :)

(But please pray that the Holy Spirit will help me learn Italian.)

Some Updates: Yes, I Am Still Alive!

Despite the long silence, yes, I am still alive! I’m just coming towards the end of one of the busiest summers I have ever had.

As I mentioned earlier, I am writing a high school level Religion textbook on Vocations (which will probably reach classrooms in September 2013). I have had about four and a half months to write a full-length book, so needless to say this didn’t leave me with much time or mental energy to do much other writing. (Even when I writing my Master’s thesis, that was shorter in length and I had twice as much time to do it!) Happily, I’m starting to a light at the end of the tunnel; at this point, the core writing is more or less done and now I’m working on the rewrites. And it’s by far worth all the work to know that my writing may—God willing!—help to plant the seeds of future vocations in the Church.

I was also able to get away for a few days, albeit with my laptop in tow, to attend the United States Association of Consecrated Virgins’ annual convocation. This is the first one I have ever been able to attend, and overall it was a good experience. I’m very glad that I was able to go. (I was even pleasantly surprised to meet a few blog readers in person for the first time!)

Since the convocation was help at the University of St. Mary of the Lake, (a.k.a. Mundelein, the seminary of the Archdiocese of Chicago) I was able to stay with and visit my mentor, Sr. Sara Butler, MSBT, who is on the theological faculty there. I met Sister Sara when she was teaching at St. Joseph’s Seminary here in New York, and she was a great help to me in my discernment, first few years of consecrated life, and in my graduate theological studies. (She was also one of my “bridesmaids” when I was consecrated.)

Sister Sara is Missionary Servant of the Blessed Trinity, a community founded in the early twentieth century for the preservation of the faith—basically, their charism is what we would now call “the new evangelization.” (I told Sister that her community’s vocation promotion tag line should be: “The New Evangelization: We did it before it was cool!” Sister said she would think about it.)

Also this summer, I received some rather life-changing news—the Archdiocese of New York is going to send me to Rome for three years to study for a license in Canon Law (a J.C.L. degree) so that I can serve on our Metropolitan Tribunal. God willing, I am planning to start classes at the Pontifical University of the Holy Cross this coming Fall.

As you might imagine, I’m overjoyed to be given such a wonderful opportunity! I’m excited to have the change to live for a few years in the heart of the Church, and amidst so many cultural riches. But in all honesty, I think I’m even happier to know that, once I come back home for good, I’ll be able to serve the Church in New York in such a much-needed capacity.

And actually, I’m kind of having a hard time wrapping my mind around the idea that this is really happening! Things are coming along, but there is still a lot I need to do to get ready to go to Rome. So please, everyone, do keep me in your prayers!

Habemus forum!

We have a forum! In response to this post, a friend graciously offered to help me set up a “Sponsa Christi” forum. This forum will be for consecrated virgins, candidates, and women seriously discerning this vocation who feel called to embrace a more structured and demonstrably “consecrated” way of life.

You can find the forum at: http://www.sponsa-christi.proboards.com/.

Most of the content will be open for anyone to read, but you will need to register in order to post.

If you would like to promote the new Sponsa Christi forum on your website or blog, simply save the image and upload it to your site.

Use the following code to place the ad:

<a href=http://sponsa-christi.proboards.com><img src=ForumAd.jpg width=300 height=353 border=0 alt="Join the Sponsa Christi Forum"></a>

If you would like a slightly smaller version, try the following:

<a href=http://sponsa-christi.proboards.com><img src=ForumAd.jpg width=150 height=151 border=0 alt="Join the Sponsa Christi Forum"></a>

Or if you prefer, you could try this one with the following code:

<a href=http://sponsa-christi.proboards.com><img src=ForumAd2.jpg width=256 height=450 border=0 alt="Follow Apollonia to the forum!"></a>

If you would like a slightly smaller version try the following:

<a href=http://sponsa-christi.proboards.com><img src=ForumAd2.jpg width=135 height=237 border=0 alt="Follow Apollonia to the forum!"></a>

If you have thoughts or suggestions for the forum, feel free to leave them in the comment box below. (Hat tip to blog reader Mantellata for her help with the graphics.)

What I Have Been Up To Lately

Sorry for the long blog silence! It’s been a busy month and a half.

First of all, I’m currently writing a high school religion textbook on…of all things…vocations!
(You can be sure there will be a seriously awesome section on consecrated life! ;-) ) The book is for a series created to correspond with the U.S. Bishop’s new curriculum guidelines for high school religion classes.

To me, writing for upper-level high school students is an “apostolate” in the best sense of the term—it’s a wonderfully direct way to teach the faith. And hopefully, it will also encourage more than a few young people to consider the priesthood or consecrated life.

However, I am on a rather tight deadline schedule. So please be patient with me, as the blog might have to suffer a bit until the manuscript is completed in August. (Although I do hope to have a real post here sometime next week.)

During the month of May, it seems like didn’t have a single free weekend—it seemed like something special was happening every Saturday.

The second weekend in May, I drove out to Alfred, New York (about five hours west of where I live) where I was invited to blog reader Shana’s senior B.F.A. art show. Her thesis was on the Theology of the Body. She has many of her paintings posted on her blog. So you can check them out when you go over to congratulate her!

The next weekend was our priesthood Ordinations in the Archdiocese of New York, at St. Patrick’s Cathedral in New York City.

Here is a slideshow of the Ordination weekend made by one of the Cathedral Prep students:

Ordination 2011 Slideshow from Caleb Lococo on Vimeo.

After that, I drove down to Raleigh, North Carolina for the transitional diaconate Ordination of my friend and college classmate Don Maloney.

Here is a great picture of Deacon Don preaching a homily for the first time at Mass the next day:



Happily, the first reading was on the instituion of the diaconate (in Acts 6:1-7), so the new “Reverend Mister” didn’t have to look too far for inspiration.


On my way back home from the Deep South, I was able to make my annual retreat at the Visitation Monastery in Georgetown (in Washington, D.C.).

The Order of the Visitation was founded by Sts. Francis de Sales and Jane Francis de Chantal. A contemplative monastic Order, their charism is centered on the “little virtues,” such as kindness, patience, and humility. The particular charism of the Visitation monastery in Georgetown (which is one of the oldest religious communities in North America) also involves an educational apostate. The nuns of the Georgetown monastery are semi-cloistered, so they are able to run a girls’ high school adjacent to their convent.

St. Francis de Sales also insisted that the Visitation monasteries have the rare privilege of allowing women (even lay women) to make private retreats inside the enclosure. This is something for which I’m certainly very grateful! Among other things, it was a real treat to be able to pray the Office in choir with the nuns.

The night before I returned home, we took a few pictures. Here’s a photo of my friend Sr. Anne Elizabeth, me, and St. Francis de Sales:

Sr. Anne E. grew up in Yonkers, New York (actually right across the street from our archdiocesan seminary). So even though we didn’t meet until after she entered the convent, we’ve wound up having some of the same friends and knowing a lot of the same people.

In this photo, Sr. Anne E. said we had to do a cool “rapper” pose. But obviously, Sister is much cooler than I am!

Anybody Interested…?

I have been wondering lately, would any readers be interested in something like a closed Facebook page (or a private blog, or some kind of forum—assuming I can figure out how to set up a forum) for consecrated virgins, candidates, and women seriously discerning this vocation who feel called to embrace a more structured and demonstrably “consecrated” way of life?

Based on some of the comments I’ve received on this blog (such as the first anonymous comment on this post), as well as many of the relationships I’ve developed through email correspondence, I’ve come to believe that I am not the only one who is inclined to interpret the Rite of Consecration to a Life of Virginity in a more strict and literal fashion.

This is absolutely not intended at all as a criticism of those who hold different views than I do—the Church hasn’t yet given any authoritative clarification on many of the practical aspects of a consecrated virgin’s daily life, so I recognize that right now it’s completely legitimate to have different opinions.

However, it seems that oftentimes those of us who do feel called to live our virginal consecration in a more radical way can tend to feel sort of isolated (despite the growing influence of various consecrated virgins’ associations worldwide).

Although as consecrated virgins we all receive the same Rite of Consecration, sometimes in striving to live a distinctively “consecrated” lifestyle, at times I personally feel almost though I’m living a de facto different vocation than the virgins who feel called to live out their consecrated lives in a more “hidden” way. And I’m guessing that my experience in this is not an entirely unique one.

My hunch is that there are probably greater numbers of “radical” (or at least “radically-inclined”) consecrated virgins than most of us realize, and I think it would be great if we could connect online for the purpose of offering mutual sisterly support.

I also think that it would be good to have a place where we could have open discussions amongst ourselves about things like: how to deal with certain practical issues, how to best interpret ambiguous areas of the Rite, how we explain our vocation to family and friends, relating to the wider community as a consecrated virgin, and dealing with some of the spiritual challenges unique to consecrated virginity. My thought is that it would be very helpful to have a place where we could run problems and concerns by others who have truly “been there.”

I don’t think that everyone in this proposed Facebook group/private blog/forum would have to agree with each other on absolutely everything—after all, part of its purpose would be to learn from each other and to try to see our concerns from different angles.

But just to make sure that we were all basically on the same page, this would be a group for consecrated virgins and candidates who believe that:

1. the call to be “dedicated to the service of the Church” should mean a literal dedication to direct service of the Church under normal circumstances;

2. consecrated virgins should strive to live the evangelical counsels of poverty and obedience in at least some sense;

3. consecrated virgins are called to have at least some kind of serious and meaningful bond with the diocese for which they were consecrated;

4. while consecrated virginity involves a great deal of joy, it also necessarily entails some very real sacrifices;

5. in fulfilling their obligation of prayer, consecrated virgins should be asked to meet at least some objective standards (such as praying the Liturgy of the Hours or attending daily Mass);

6. consecrated virgins are called to be public witnesses in the Church, and therefore should be as open about their vocation and identity as priests and religious Sisters are called to be about theirs;

7. young women should not be discouraged from discerning vocations to consecrated virginity simply because of their age.

If an online group of this sort would appeal to you, let me know. Either leave a comment at the bottom of this post (anonymous comments are okay here); or send me an email: sponsa.christi.author [at] gmail [dot] com (put “CV online group” in the subject line).

I would appreciate input, not only about who’s interested, but also about the best way to go about organizing this kind of online community (e.g., would it be better to start a private multi-author blog, or to start a Facebook group?).

Finally, I want to restate once again that this is NOT in any way intended as a disparagement those who generally disagree with my interpretations of the Rite of Consecration to a Life of Virginity. Nor am I trying to create factions or cut off dialogue.

I completely appreciate the fact that—as far as the ambiguous areas of this form of consecrated life are concerned—all consecrated virgins have the right and the obligation to live out their vocation according to what they in conscience determine to be the mind of the Church. If you’re a consecrated virgin who is doing her best to follow her conscience, there’s no way I could fault you, even if I might disagree with some of your interpretations on an objective intellectual level.

It’s just my thought that, since consecrated virginity lived in the world is such a challenging vocation as it is, it might be helpful if consecrated virgins who share a similar (and perhaps less widely-accepted) understanding of our vocation were able to “meet” one another.

Update 5/4/11:

Just for some clarification—I have no plans to discontinue this blog, even if my idea for an online community is successful!

Also, for the purposes of this proposed online community of consecrated virgins and discerners, the seven above-mentioned points are, for the most part, non-negotiable.

My intention in trying to start an online community is not to argue for a specific interpretation of the Rite of Consecration to a Life of Virginity, but rather to encourage mutual sisterly support among consecrated virgins who already share a similar understanding of our vocation.

If you disagree with my thoughts on the most appropriate way to live out a vocation to consecrated virginity, that’s perfectly fine! You’re still more than welcome to comment on this blog.

However, I’m envisioning the proposed online community as a place where virgins who feel called to live a more “strict” or “radical” consecrated life can share our thoughts and experiences without feeling as though we constantly need to justify our desire to live a more demonstrably “consecrated” lifestyle to other participants in the community.

Easter 2011

(A reading from the Easter Vigil…)

The One who has become your husband is your Maker;

his name is the LORD of hosts;

your redeemer is the Holy One of Israel,

called God of all the earth.

The LORD calls you back,

like a wife forsaken and grieved in spirit,

a wife married in youth and then cast off,

says your God.

For a brief moment I abandoned you,

but with great tenderness I will take you back.

In an outburst of wrath, for a moment

I hid my face from you;

but with enduring love I take pity on you,

says the LORD, your redeemer.

This is for me like the days of Noah,

when I swore that the waters of Noah

should never again deluge the earth;

so I have sworn not to be angry with you,

or to rebuke you.

Though the mountains leave their place

and the hills be shaken,

my love shall never leave you

nor my covenant of peace be shaken,

says the LORD, who has mercy on you.

O afflicted one, storm-battered and unconsoled,

I lay your pavements in carnelians,

and your foundations in sapphires;

I will make your battlements of rubies,

your gates of carbuncles,

and all your walls of precious stones.

All your children shall be taught by the LORD,

and great shall be the peace of your children.

In justice shall you be established,

far from the fear of oppression,

where destruction cannot come near you.

—Isaiah 54:5-14